By Javier Torres
Rochester, NY – Dean of Student Affairs Sarah Chapman excitedly announced that the troll under the Genesee footbridge will begin accepting URos, effective immediately.
“We are pleased to announce this new partnership with the footbridge Troll, whose fee of $5.25 to pass through has limited the student population, especially freshmen, from exploring the Rochester community.”
The 5,000 year old troll, Tusselatr Tomtenis, lovingly referred to as “Tussy” took residence under the footbridge in the fall of 1983.
“His prices were honestly pretty reasonable at the time,” noted Rochester Alumni Charles Ennis, “and he would tell us which restaurants were open late. I really had no problem with the troll.” Ennis also noted that the troll’s recent price hikes could be attributed to recent economic recession. “It hit us all hard, and I really think this deal helps students and Tussy in the long run.”
Members of the Rochester community have not been as receptive to the deal. “That’s what’s been keeping them from coming over?” asked Community Leader Marcus Green, “Are you sure?”
University officials hope that the increase in foot traffic across the bridge will smooth negotiations with the Dragon-Goblin Union in the 19th Ward, who in the past has stood as a roadblock to further student integration into the community.