Congratulations everyone, you’ve made it. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, regardless of your religion or ethnicity there is something magical about the winter holiday season. Students finally come back down to planet earth to find that there is indeed life after finals (yes even that C in physics won’t kill you). In fact, there is even a greater meaning to life than the grades on their transcripts and their effect on graduation plans. The holidays are magical because we spend them with those that are dear to us, and isn’t it great?
In the spirit of giving, I bring you my official “12 Hours of Christmas” drinking game to make the time we spend with those dear and less dear to us a little bit sweeter. If you plan on drinking for more than 12 hours, God bless you. If you’re Jewish knock on a neighbors door and see if they have room for one more, or add a couple of 40’s to your traditional “movies and Chinese food” outing.
History Side Note:
For those of you who think there are actually 12 days of Christmas, that’s not the case, it isn’t like Hanukah, however there is significance. From my short tenure as a catholic school student I can tell you that these 12 days are the 12 days between Christmas and Little Christmas; Little Christmas being when the wise men made it to the manger to see baby Jesus. Imagine that 12 days of travel! Makes that 7-hour drive home feel a bit more bearable, huh?
1) For each gift you plan on re-gifting – take one shot
2) If a relative comes in dressed as Santa Clause, tugg on their beard and say “you’re not santa!!” then go outside and funnel a beer. If a child cries you are a terrible person why did you do that? Take a shot.
3) Anytime you spy an old relative drinking some strange dark liquor, swipe it and take an unreasonably long and awkward sip while maintaining full eye contact.
4) For every really bad gift you give someone. Let me specify, these are the really awkward “ohhhh my gooddd thank you” kind of gifts- chug a glass of whole milk. You don’t deserve alcohol… be more thoughtful.
5) When you see a cousin you haven’t seen in more than six months, shake their hand intensely, gaze into their eyes, and whisper the Clint Eastwood quote of your choice. (i.e. “It’s a hell of a thing, killin’ a man. You take away everything he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.”) Then chug for 5 seconds.
6) When someone asks about your GPA, revert the question back at them, “How much do you make a year before taxes, Grandma?” Then share a glass of eggnog with them.
7) If anyone mentions the names “Hillary” or “Donald”- take a generous sip of your drink.
8) If you get sat at the ‘kiddie’ table swipe a bottle of wine and proceed to finish it alone in the bathroom.
9) If you say or do anything to compromise a child’s belief in Santa Clause – finish your drink.
10) Anytime a Michael Buble song comes on celebrate his seasonal success, and make a toast “To being admired 1/12th of the year!”, then finish your drink.
11) Funnel one glass of eggnog every time A Christmas Story is on.
12) If a family member takes out a video camera, make them film you shot gunning a beer. (Keep track of your time, so you can beat it next time)